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Some Sweet Memories of Helen Helen, my love, let's capture some of our memories here and share them with our beloved folks. You don't have to do anything except giving me a little kick on my elbows if I don't do it right. You know, all the minutes that we had been together on earth were transcribed as my sweet and happy memories. It is difficult to pick a starting point to share. As even in such a short span of time of 32 years of marriage, we have so much to tell. Well, it really doesn't matter. Let's just mention the recent ones. How's that? On Feb 1, 2004, at 4:00am, you had the first profuse bleeding from the tumor. I was a bit nervous. I paged the Hospice nurse and fortunately our usual nurse was on-call on that night. It saved me a lot of time and breath that I did not have to go through all your "glorious" history to a stranger on the phone. When the nurse called back, your bleeding stopped. But two night-time under-pads were already fully soaked with your precious blood. After the clean-up of the mess, for some reasons, you were so awake and you could speak very fluently. You know, you had lost your speech fluency for 2 weeks already. We had a sweet pillow-talk for almost an hour, just like in the old days. I told you that you had lost a lot of blood and it might be about time for you to see God. I asked if you were afraid at all to see God, you responded back "NO" firmly with a smile. I cried a bit. You teased me and said that I looked like a silly boy. Then we laughed together. While you were "so normal", I briefly reviewed with you your funeral arrangements and the companion crypts which we had bought in last Christmas. The crypts are inside the beautiful Chapel of Scared Heart Cemetery in Rowlett. You would be in the left hand side of the crypts, which is closer to the altar and the Holy Eucharist, and I will be on your right hand side. You seemed to be quite happy with the arrangement. I asked you if you would care about what dress to wear in the funeral. You said humorously that it won't matter much as people only see your head during the visitation. I promised you that I would dress you beautifully for your journey Home. You had bought a very nice looking garment, red and black in color with long sleeves, two years ago. You had never worn it before. You might have thought to save this dress for such occasion. The long sleeves covered your bonnie arms nicely. It was my sister, Charlotte, and your sister, May, who made an executive decision to put this dress on you to see God. I told you that I would be very sad to see you gone. I promised you that I would continue to live well and would never let you worry about me a bit until you see me again. I told you that I will not marry again as no one can take you place in my heart. I asked you if there were anything that you would like me to do for you. You simply said that all were done. I stupidly asked you if you would be regret marrying me. You kissed me on my lips softly and said "no". Wow, that's super. Helen, I will for sure treasure that "no" answer and sweet kisses for the rest of my life until we meet again. We then together asked God for His forgiveness of our sins and we said some prayers. We prayed to God to have mercy on our deceased relatives, especially our beloved father Ming Ip and our beloved brother Chi-man Ip. We prayed to God that they would join you someday and somewhere in heaven. Helen, if I were not that tired, I would keep on talking to you till sunrise. As usual, you sent me to sleep to regain my strength. That was really a tough early morning, yet we made it a sweet moment of being together. At 9:00am, I got up all of a sudden and found that you were in severe pain. I had no choice but loaded you with lots of pain medicine until you were totally knocked down. God, you really pushed her to her ultimate limits. On Saturday, February 7, around 4:00am, while I was feeding you with Ensure (you couldn't swallow solid food anymore); you told me that you felt wet down "there". That was your second profuse bleeding from the tumor and one under-pad was fully soaked with your precious blood again. You were very weak after the bleeding but I heard you praying to God softly. You said, "....God, please give me strength, ....... God, please love more people on earth." Your very last prayer to God was barely heard but clear. Again, you had severe pain around 9:00am. Charlotte and I loaded you with lots of pain medicine. On Friday, February 13, your very last day on earth, your beloved mother, beloved sister, May, beloved brother Chi-chi and his wife Buffy, and beloved sister-in-law, Charlotte, took turn to sit beside you around the clock. About 9:00am, I started writing the eulogy of yours on my laptop and I finished it around 3:00pm. You seemed to work with me on the eulogy as I just typed it out from the flow of "our" thoughts in my head. We ended the eulogy with wording from the Christmas card which was hand-made by one of our beloved nieces, Christine. She spent almost a full day in our kitchen making the card during her visit last Christmas. It was so creative and so beautiful that I deliberately kept it around in our bedroom till your last day. After the eulogy was done, I checked you out and found some blues on your pawns, telling me that it was about time for your sweet Journey Home. I immediately told everyone to come around you. We all cried except your mother who took in-charge without a second thought. She spoke softly over your ears, "Daughter, go to sleep; sleep well; sleep tight; ....". And at the same time, she closed your eye lids gently. After a minute or so, you stopped breathing. At the moment you were leaving, you grasped my left hand with your left hand very tight. I knew that you didn't want to leave me alone, but you had no choice. Yet you passed away with a beautiful smile on your angel face; telling me that you were well received by God with lots of angels around you. You seemed very happy at that moment. Helen, we all miss you very much. We were all very sad to see go, yet we all got lots of comfort, support, and love from God, from you especially, and from all our friends and relatives in different parts of the world. It seemed that you were with me all the time and helped arrange everything in the next few weeks after your physical departure. We cried a lot on missing you, yet we were full of laughter from time to time, knowing that it was you again making things happened so nicely and so smoothly in your way. On that Saturday night, Charlotte, Chi-chi, and I bought the same brand of dresses - Jones New York (one of your favorite brands) with big deep discount (your favorite shopping criteria) from Foley's Department Store for the funeral service next day. It took us less than 10 minutes to get all we needed and the dresses were well fit right away with no changes required. You picked the dresses in Foley for us to save us hassles and stress, didn't you? Oh, we really had a wonderful time that night, talking about what's happening in Foley and the strange look of the sales-lady when Charlotte teased her about your might-be-presence in Foley. Hey, thank you, Helen. With less than 48 hours after you left, we had your Funeral Mass celebrated at 3:30pm on Sunday, Feb 15, in the beautiful Chapel of Sacred Heart Cemetery. Our Church members, as usual, did a good job for us in your Funeral Mass, filled with their tremendous love and passion. And at exactly the same time (5:30am Hong Kong time, Monday morning), our beloved Goddaughter, Vera, read the Eulogy over the radio of RTHK. She dedicated a full half hour in her radio show to say good-bye to you with thoughtfully selected songs, including Sarah Brightman's "Time to say good-bye". People in Hong Kong, most likely the taxi-drivers on mid-night shift and sleepless folks, who were awake at that time, know your wonderful story. Wasn't it wonderful? We didn't plan for that. It just happened like that with some help from you - we believed. On Tuesday, Feb 17, Kin-keung arranged a Holy Mass to be celebrated for you in Aberdeen Technical School. On Sunday, Feb 22, Fr. Deignan, the Provincial's Delegate of Jesuit Fathers, celebrated the Holy Mass for you in your beloved St. Mary's Canossian College, where you have taught for 9 years with lots of good memories. Our relative folks in Hong Kong had attended the Mass. Our beloved mother cried quit a bit in the Chapel. There were also three Holy Masses offered for you, arranged by your beloved Principal, Sr. Ida, in Hong Kong, one in Canossian Convent, one in St. Mary's Chapel, and one in St Joseph's Church. On Saturday, Feb 28, folks in Toronto, with my presence, celebrated a Holy Mass for you in The Chinese Martyr Catholic Church, with lots of good tears. Helen, there were more than four hundred people, in different parts of the world, showing up in the Holy Masses to bid farewell to you and to celebrate your new life with God. You really have a lot of good friends here on earth. Hey, don't forget to say prayers for them in heaven, wishing them joyful on earth. There are so many friends we need to say thank you for their love and support during our difficult time. They all miss you very much. Yet they are all very proud of you, definitely including me. As our beloved senior citizen friend in Dallas, Frank Wang, wrote on his email to me, "Your steadfast faith in God and positive attitude toward life, have taught us how to manage our lives more appropriately. Most of all, your battle against illness with such matchless stamina had inspired us in how to handle our lives more correctly." Helen, you know, you are really something. Charlotte and I found that during the tough time we had gone through together, we deeply felt your courage, strength in mind, and joyfulness in spirit to embrace life. We felt even a lot more of your love and your hidden strength that pulled people together to share your love, the love of God, the love of our families, the love of people around and not around you, the love of life and more. Helen, I will not be lonely here on earth. As Fr. Deignan wrote on his email to me, "She continues to be with you in spirit and to show her love and concern, waiting for the day when you will be united together again with her." Helen, whenever I feel emptiness at home, I would fill it up immediately with the beautiful memories of being part of your life. I'll try to learn how to let go of you. So don't worry a bit about me. OK. Helen, I love you everyday.
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